If you’re like me, you’re Asian. And as a corollary, you must love rice.
I love rice. Not only is it delicious and a staple of billions around the globe, relatively speaking, it’s also cheap (yet another corollary of being Asian). Rice also tends to go very well with a large variety of Asian foods, including meats, veggies, seafood, tofu; you name it, it’s delicious. It’s also cheap. My hands-down favorite thing about rice, though, is its ability to absorb flavors in the food you cook/eat it with. Did I mention it’s cheap? That, my friends, is truly a no-compromise situation.
Win-win. No, win-win-win. (see The Office, Season 2, Episode 21, Conflict Resolution; which, as a sidenote, the new season begins tonight!)
Unfortunately, to be fair, there’s one caveat to this otherwise totally-awesome-win-win-win-situation. The rice has to be perfect. When I say perfect, many of you know exactly what I mean. For the others of you who haven’t had the [dis]pleasure of growing up in an Asian household where the ubiquity of rice was second to none, all you need to know: Perfect rice should be fluffy and tender, but not hard or mushy. Each grain of perfect rice should be distinct, but still remain slightly sticky.
Fortunately, there’s a method to the madness of making perfect rice. It’s a matter of two things: the kind of rice, and how much water. I’m going to assume you’re using a rice cooker. If you don’t have one, get one. It’s easily worth its weight in… (what’s more expensive than gold? oh.) PLUTONIUM.
First of all, you need to get the right kind of rice. For me and millions of Asians living in the US, there’s only one kind of rice to use. Anything else… well, is in fact, just that. Anything else. (It is also blasphemy.) This is the only rice on the table (ha ha ha) for us Asians, and that is: Kokuho Rose short grain white rice (which is technically sushi rice!). It usually comes in a white bag with a prominent red and blue logo. Patriotic, too. For America. Weirdos.
Anyhow, a 5lb bag can be had for about $4. Fortunately, us Asians are cheap, so that’s why you see us breaking our backs walking out of the 88 with three 50lb bags of the stuff. You probably won’t find the stuff at a Shaw’s or a Stop and Shop, but Whole Foods may carry it, Costco does carry it, and the aforementioned 88 will definitely have it.
To be honest, I have no idea why everyone uses Kokuho Rose rice. But like I said before, millions of Asians can’t be wrong. (Unless we are. Never thought of that.)
You’ll want to rinse the rice a few times, to get rid of the talc that some mills outside the US use as a milling aid, and also to get rid of excess starch, which will have the end effect of making your rice stickier.
Now that you know what rice to use… As for the amount of water, I’ll start by telling a story. Many of you know the net result of this story; don’t spoil it for others.. I know a few people who used to work in a Chinese restaurant. As such, they never had the luxury of time; no time to grab out the measuring cups and precisely measure how much water to use. And thus, was born, the “finger trick”.
What is the finger trick, you may ask? Well, to put it simply, it’s a genius method of measuring how much water to use for cooking rice. If your washed rice is at the bottom of a pot, simply even out the rice so it lies flat in the pot, place your index finger straight down into the pot so as to almost touch the rice, and cover with cold water until the water line reaches halfway to the first joint. This trick has been passed down from generation to generation of Asians. I take back what I said before about millions of Asians not being wrong. Billions of Asians over thousands of years can’t be wrong.
Unfortunately the finger trick fails to take into account varying lengths of index finger bones. Perhaps everyone who ate rice hundreds of years ago (I’m looking at you, Asians) were the same height. For Asians, that’d be around 5’2″. Tiny tiny index finger bones. I’m 5’10” and Melody once saw my hand and said to me, “woah, you have really long fingers!” It’s true. Fortunately for me, every time I make rice using the finger trick, it still comes out perfectly. A method to their madness.
All I’m saying is that maybe you should take Asians as more street-smart and cunning than they’re perceived to be (With the exception of ricers, of which I am NOT affiliated).
Maybe when you look at that middle-aged Korean guy, you should think, “oh, he doesn’t go home and yell at his wife because he has anger issues, he goes home and makes really good rice.”
Maybe when you glance over at that old Chinese lady on the T rockin’ the lime green and purple jacket with baggy denim shorts, you should say to yourself, “oh, she doesn’t have poor fashion sense. she goes home and makes really good rice.”
A change of view, it’s all I’m asking. And to make really, really good rice.
Filed under: uncategorized, asian, culture, food
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