a realistic dose of cynicism


Monday afternoon [photo] haikus.

i present to you
mundane happenings at work
Monday afternoon:

rubik’s cube: hello.
don’t peel off all my stickers
i dare you: solve me.

this mouse in my house
has an extremely long tail
his name: Logitech.

Staples’ nemesis
isn’t OfficeMax at all;
but this claw-shaped beast.

when is a mere book
sharper than any halberd?
when it’s the Bible.

look at this keyboard:
slab of plastic. what’s it for?
it’s for giving PROPS.

and three more haikus:
well, after this one of course.
the third line is hard.

caffeine detoxing
is like a Dyson vacuum;
it just really sucks.

i like similes.
especially in haikus.
it feels natural.

like, [5 syllables]
is like [5 more syllables]
[droll explanation]

an empty hallway
means that people worked from home,
still pajama-clad.


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6 Responses

  1. Jessica says:

    thanks for the coffee one. i heart it.

  2. devin says:

    you need to change the key next to the stop key to say ‘hammertime’.

  3. Melody says:

    Teeeheee, I like this post.

  4. Dalau says:

    ooo, I like macro
    you using autofocus?
    the “props” is blurry

  5. remmeh says:

    i’m using my little point-and-shoot, although i want a dslr too.. actually there are a lot of expensive things i want :\

  6. Grace says:

    my dear friend Jerry,
    i’m so very proud of you!
    your haikus are good…

    well, considering
    the haikus you used to write
    two summers ago,

    because we both know:
    “sometimes they don’t make much sense–


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